How do you know when the past is really the past? How do you know when someone really won't hurt you again when they say they won't? And don't say that you have to trust them b/c that is how you get your heart broken over and over again. At some point you unfortunately have to put up that wall and move on with your life. It's not easy and it's incredibly sad. It takes years to build that wall and keep it up. Sounds unhealthy I know, but in this case the wall needed to be built.
My mother is an addict.
There, I have said it.
The shortest possible version of the story is that she has been addicted to pills since before I was born. She has been a very good mother and a very bad mother. My entire life I struggled to not give up on her. Five years ago I was done. I moved to Charleston to get space and it was the best decision I could have made.
We had an "episode" a couple of months ago and she is now living with my uncle in North Carolina. Hopefully she will pull herself together. This is the best chance she has ever been given.
Do you know any addicts?
If not, you have surely seen House, Intervention and/or all the celebrities out there that have problems.
It's crazy. Addicts know what they are doing. In most cases they know exactly what drugs they can mix and match together - what amount of alcohol they can add to it - it's insane!
My mother's drug of choice is Vicodin.
But she adds all kinds of other things to it (including oxycotton) depending on the day. It's amazing to me how one person can take all that she can without just dying.
And manipulative? Wow. She has her two brothers wrapped around her finger. Whereas they do know she has a problem and they really are trying to help her, she still has them snowed. She is SO good at blaming me, my dad and my brother on her being so miserable. It's exhausting.
Reason for this post - I just checked the mail and there was an apology card from her. Frustrated.